Building a Saw Horse the Harbor Freight Way

Okay, I thought I was getting a screaming deal by buying a pair of saw horses at Harbor Freight that I used my 20% off coupon for. Well, the adventure took place to day when I pulled them out of the box and spread out the directions and all those screws, bolts, washers etc on the garage floor. It seems in typical Harbor Freight fashion that the Chinese manufacturer didn't include the proper pieces to actually attach the the stability bars with. The concept was a good one, except for the fact that I couldn't do it the way they intended. Someone got the bright idea to model it after a kids easel with a triangular plastic nut that is supposed to have a larger recessed plastic piece. But no go. Anyways, after putting one of these saw horses together I also came up short on bolts with good threads and couldn't finish making it totally sturdy. And alas, I had none of this particular length and width in any of those jars of extra "stuff" most of us keep around just in case we find a use for it after 5 or 10 years. The saw horses are finished, but I still need 4 more bolts and nuts to add the cross pieces that make them totally stable. Tomorrow. I was too irritated to drive to get 4 bolts and nuts. I'll do it on the way home from work.

Guess Who's Coming to Chicken Dinner?

Okay, the title isn't really fair,because these two little cuties will be laying eggs, not coming to dinner. I picked up two Auracanas this past week for a screaming deal--$1.43 each. I think the cashier messed up. I think they were supposed to be $3.99 each as "exotics" though they aren't really very exotic except for the fact that they lay blue/green eggs. They've already started to get some actual wing feathers and are hopping around and trying to use them to fly in their galvanized tub where they live on the sun porch with a heat lamp. In about 3 weeks they'll start looking like real chickens, just small versions.

I've yet to tackle building chicken coop II yet, but will get to it soon enough. These girls will go into a portable wire dog kennel for a while. Once Coop II is finished I'll move the Rhodey and Plymouth Rock into it and give these girls the old Coop I until they are big enough to fend for themselves and get to know the other two chickens.

Alcohol Consumption and April Fools or "The Value of a Drink"

The Value of a Drink



'Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.
Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.'
~ Jack Handy
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
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'I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. '
~Frank Sinatra
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
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'When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.'
~ Henny Youngman
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
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'24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.'
~ Stephen Wright
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
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'When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!'
~ Brian O'Rourke
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
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'Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.'
~ Benjamin Franklin
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
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'Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.'
~ Dave Barry
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
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To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~ Dave Howell
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
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And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the 'Buffalo Theory' to his buddy Norm.

Here's how it went:
'Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.