Alcohol Consumption and April Fools or "The Value of a Drink"

The Value of a Drink



'Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.
Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.'
~ Jack Handy
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
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'I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. '
~Frank Sinatra
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
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'When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.'
~ Henny Youngman
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
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'24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.'
~ Stephen Wright
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
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'When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!'
~ Brian O'Rourke
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
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'Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.'
~ Benjamin Franklin
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
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'Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.'
~ Dave Barry
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
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To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~ Dave Howell
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
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And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the 'Buffalo Theory' to his buddy Norm.

Here's how it went:
'Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

Grk White Wine-Only from Korcula Island

On the island of Korcula in a small village called Lumbarda that is about 5 miles away from Korcula Town and slightly over an hour walk lies a unique mixture of soil, climate, sea salt and sunshine that produces a very dry white wine known as Grk. I had the pleasure of walking to Lumbarda and spending an entire day tasting wine, swimming at a couple of beaches and talking with a few locals. Unfortunately the walk is along a main road as opposed to through the vinyards and farms. Some good signage along the back trails would have a profound benefit for Lumbarda Agro-tourism and bring the wine drinking public closer to the producers and the scenery.
Grk is not everyones cup of tea or in this case, glass of wine. I particulary liked the Grk that I found from the Bire family--Vesna and Franz. They bottle about 10,000 bottle or maybe it was 10,000 cases. Either way, it's a small operation. I had their 2009 bottling and it was quite good, actually. You may be able to find Grk varietal wines in Boise at the Bosnian market but most wines imported from Croatia to the U.S. are in short supply and relatively expensive for what they really are. Expect to pay $20 a bottle for something that would likely cost $10 to $12 if it were from Chile, Argentina or even California.