Harbor Freight as a Religious Experience

Johnny Montezuma goes to the church of Harbor Freight. I've known for quite some time that Johnny routinely worships at the alter of Harbor Freight. But I really knew very little about the why or how of Harbor Freight. I'd always thought it was a religion for cheapskates and old folks wearing their Lions Club vests. You know the type; they look like twin siblings instead of a married couple, because they have totally assimilated one another just like the Borg does on Star Trek.

Anyways, I decided to venture over to the "church" during my lunch hour today. I'd scoped out their location a couple weekends ago. The "church" was closed when I drove by in West Boise almost to the Meridian city line. So I logged into my memory synapse the location and decided to drive on down Fairview Avenue from my office to see what it was like when the brethren were on site.

Wow is all I can say. Big WOW! This place is like a pawn shop of new stuff you didn't know you needed. You don't even need a shopping list because the minute you get in the place you start to realize they have stuff you would actually use. Gorilla glue or its cheaper cousin with the same indentical ingredients for 2/3 less money. Those solar lights like butterlies you wanted for the garden. The wet tile saw that would cost you a ridiculous amount at Home Depot, but you'll only do one tile job at home anyways and it will take you weeks, so you can't afford to rent it from Tates Rental for weeks while you get your act together between brewskies, watching the Stanley Cup Playoffs and mowing the lawn.

Well, I made it for under $50 on my first visit. I picked up wannabee gorilla glue, some of those electrical ties I use for plastic fencing and staking my tomato plants, some cute butterfly solar lights, a really cool frisbee gizmo for the dog as well as a nice 30 foot line for him to run wild on in camp from between two trees. And a few other things are in the bag I've already forgotten. It will be Christmas when I get home.

So that said, I now consider myself a member of the Church of Harbor Freight. Johnny Montezuma did a good job proselytizing and making me a convert. Living in Idaho Falls with all those proselytizers from another faith must have rubbed off on him.

Thanks Johnny. You're the best. Oh, I remembered the other gizmo in the bag. A magnesium fire starter. I've wanted one of those for camping in the rain and winter backcountry skiing for years. Now I have one and it cost only $2. Hail Harbor Freight.